I recently came across a discussion that got pretty heated over whether little girls should wear makeup or not. I would love to hear your thoughts (be opinionated but not nasty please).
My 5-year-old has lip gloss and pretend makeup she likes to “play” with. There has been times when she has dressed up for an event as a princess etc and I have allowed her to wear makeup (pink lips, blush).
My belief (for my daughter) is this: As long as she knows that she doesn’t need the makeup to look beautiful and that it is something that is only required for special occasions then I am happy. I do however draw the line at blue eye shadow, eye liner, cat eyes, smoky eyes, red lipstick and anything else that does not look natural.
Wearing makeup for dancing competitions, pageants and even modeling. Is this acceptable?
Wearing makeup for pretend play around the house for dress up. Is this acceptable?
Wearing makeup to look pretty before going out to dinner or a party. Is this acceptable?
I’m all for kids playing with makeup and experimenting with colour, but only for fun – no daughter of mine will wear makeup fr parties or special events before her teenage years. As far as I’m concerned, there’s absolutely no need to “pretty up” little girls – they are pretty enough in the flush of youth without painting their faces. After all, do we make up our sons? No. So why should it be different for our little girls? If I ever have a daughter, I’ll be happy to teach her how to apply her make-up with a light touch, to enhance her natural beauty rather than cover it up so that by the time she’s in her teens she can do it for herself without looking like she’s trowelled it on. 🙂
I think it promotes the message that women need “something extra” to be beautiful, probably not the best message to start little girls off with, though I agree they may want to wear makeup later as teens. (As a teen in the 1960’s, I had to fight with my mother to wear makeup base because I had acne that was SO embarrassing to me, so at that age I understand the desire to add a bit of a mask) But the whole “tots in tiaras” thing is really repugnant because it is in public – the public “recognition” (so twisted in my opinion) sends the message so very strongly to the little girls that the natural look is not good enough, FAR from it! At home, under parental eyes, some fun “play” makeup surely is not harmful, though, because to be realistic ( non-hypocritical) we mostly all DO use a little enhancement now and then.
Little girls have been playing dress up since time began. It’s about dreams and pretending. It is also about bonding with our mothers.
In this context I think applying makeup is charming and a fun experimentation, even extending into carefree role play and fantasy. As we grow up it’s also how we learn to apply makeup and eventually be women.
Where I draw the line is when it is done to make the child appear older and more sophisticated then she is. Please lets let little girls BE little girls. There are many years ahead for the domain of adulthood.
Simple clean natural makeup I think is fine for a dance recital and other special occasions. It gives little girls a bit of anticipation that something special is about to happen.
I praise you for fostering in your daughter that she is beautiful without a hint of makeup. Confidence and beauty are built from the inside out, not from the outside in.
Namaste,
Lynn B.
Make up for playing dress up is ok as long as the make up is strictly an all natural make up. The government does no regulate our cosmetics and even if they did….I could see it being a problem since look what did with our foods. But cosmetics have so many phytoestrogens and cancer causing ingredients that why would subject your child to that. Go with teaching your child to eat healthy and see her natural beauty come out and get natural cosmetics for both of you and then play dress up together for a really special time with her.
Would you believe that this a common thing every where. I travel overseas and have seen where mothers insist that even their young daughters wear full makeup to attend parties, weddings, etc. I don’t agree with it. Makeup should only be a thing to do when playing. Makeup should not be allowed until they become an older teen. And then, as KELL said, they should be taught to use minimal amount of makeup.
There is nothing wrong with little girls playing with makeup. I raised three girls and one is 15 and at 13 she wanted makeup of her own, so I got her some ELF in light natural colors and she was thrilled (just lip gloss and blush). I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was sixteen and guess what, we went to school and put it on before class. So in conclusion, it is all about the girl, some like to pile it on and some don’t wear much or very little; so learn about your child fashion ideas and keep an eye on her likes. Hope none of the girls like the Goth look 🙂
I taught my girls that make up should always look natural. That it ONLY enhances what you ALREADY have and can help minimize what you don’t like (that pimple that came out of nowhere) but it does NOT MAKE you beautiful, that comes from the inside.
They played dress up like most little girls do but even today (in college) when they wear makeup it looks natural with only the occasional smokey eye for dramatic affect.
My 6-year-old daughter loves playing with makeup and I don’t have a problem with it anymore than I had a problem with my son pretending to be Spiderman or a Ninja. I don’t actually own or wear makeup so I’m sure that adds to the exotic qualities for her. But when I was her age I loved it too and my mom let me play with hers. If I make a bigger deal out of it that I need to it will give it that much more power… We have conversations about how much fun makeup is but we also discuss that she doesn’t actually need it. I never want her to think it’s a necessity.
I have two daughters (15 & 19) and they did not use make up when they were very little if they were going out in public, but they had play make up that they were allowed to goof around with. They always had to ask first though. I believe that banning something completely just makes kids want to do whatever is banned even more, so we pick our battles. At around age ten or so, lightly tinted lip balm was allowed. When the oldest started grade seven, she was allowed to wear lip gloss with colour and mascara. The rest (eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush…) was added slowly, as requested. I think the younger one may have been allowed to start at grade six. I don’t wear make up, so my oldest is self-taught. She does a lovely job and looks pretty natural most of the time. Sometimes she likes to vamp it up. She now works part-time behind a cosmetics counter and gets complimented on her make up frequently, and shows people how to apply it. She also taught her sister how to apply make up nicely.
I have to wonder if Mom not wearing any helped the girls to use a light touch.
I had sons, not daughters, but I think Kell summed up how I would approach things.
Because my husband or I have never felt that make up was “required”, even for special occasions, we didn’t have any makeup in the house. My sons never expressed an interest in playing with toothpaste, shampoo or shaving cream so I don’t know why a little girl would want to play with makeup.
i have put makeup on my 7 year old step-daughter. never to school, only on weekends or for play are which are very few and far between. i’m trying, with her father’s agreement, to teach her that less is more and that she doesn’t want to look like a “harlot!” she loves that one! then for halloween, it’s no holds barred!
I never saw my mom care much about makeup, other than a little bit for special occasions-honestly I don’t know if she wore it daily, but she never made a big deal of it, or said anything about not being able to go out without it. I played with makeup a little bit as a kid, and when I was a young teen, I tried it, but never thought of it as essential. Now that I think of it, I may have been mostly makeup free through high school. Even now, I try to balance my heavier makeup days with no-makeup days so that I never feel that it is something I have to do to keep up appearances, and this is the attitude I want to pass on to my daughter. Hopefully she will enjoy it while playing dress up, but also understand that makeup is for fun and something to use (if she wants to) when she gets a little older.
Play Make-up is OK but it is not right for young skin to be plastered with make-up.
As a mother of 4 girls and now a Grandmother of 3 girls I have always let them wear a little bit of eyeshadow and lipstick in very lights shades for special occasions and picture days. This worked for me and by the time my children hit their teenage years they had very little interest in make-up. Here’s hoping my Granddaughters follow. If they did experiment with colours during play they had to wash it off before going outside. Sometime it all comes down to monkey see monkey do and that can spiral out of control. So give in from time to time so the kids realize you can compromise.
I’m an opera singer, and I have spent countless hours putting on makeup–and I’ll be glad to show my two-year-old the ropes someday. My parents were pretty strict about makeup (like, inside the house and chaperoned events only!) until I started high school, and while I wholeheartedly agree with letting our little girls stay that way as long as possible, I think experimenting with makeup can be fun and educational. That said, I do want to set some limits: lip balm only in elementary school, lip gloss in middle school (maybe concealer as well, if she’s inherited my skin!), and easy on the eye makeup through most of high school. Maybe a bit more at younger ages for, say, dance performances and heavily supervised parties/dances (i.e. not the mall!).
My husband thinks I should wear makeup and look like a tramp all the time. We however, do not like to see our 11 year old daughter do this. I did not wear alot of makeup when we met. I don’t wear it unless I feel like doing it that day. I don’t intend to encourage the idea you don’t look good without it. So I think it’s a personal choice and my daughter if she decides it’s not a good thing, I’m more than happy, too much emphasis on women’s looks these days!
Childhood is fleeting and becoming an adult should become a process. Children are in need of remaining children for as long as possible.
Why not take joy in the milestones that lead to adulthood? Little girls are not small adults. They are children. Their brains are the brains of children developing slowly as they should. Skip the makeup. Wait until they are ready for a passage that makes them feel grown up and special.
Playing with mums makeup is one thing.
Stage make up for a school production is another.
But I think the slapstick, lairy eye shadows and elaborately manicured hair and nails of the young girls in beauty pageants is a form of childhood abuse.
It reeks of mothers who wanted to be in the limelight or still strive to be, by ushering their daughters into it.
If they cant have otheir own 15 minutes of fame, then maybe they can stand in their daughters limelight?
Ive heard them say in defence that their daughters love doing it, they enjoy it……..
But those little girls love dressing up as princesses and butterflies too so why tart them up as tiny adult forms of societies idea of womanhood?
Your all but feeding them to men and women with lurid fetishes for goodness sake.
Let our daughters be children and be free of adult responsibilities for as long as possible.
Adulthood comes all too soon, let them enjoy a simple life and allow them to judge themselves without dressing up like caricatures of stylised women.
That reeks to me of failed beauty pageant mums ushering their daughters into the mini-adult beauty pageant society and the competitive behaviour it encourages.
Let little girls lark about with mums makeup by all means but in the home or on the school stage.
lol yes I do feel strongly about it! : )
I’m all for letting little girls play with makeup. I think it’s fun and in reality, they just wanna use it cause they see momma using it and they look up to us!!! BUT, I’m not for regular makeup that u can buy at the store that’s loaded with chemicals, crap and junk!!! I know this is irrelevant but if we only knew what really was in makeup, would we really want out little babies to be putting that on there face/skin which by the way is our largest organ, there fore, it goes directly into there bloodstream. My daughter is only 2 now so I’m not all there yet with letting her put anything on. When she’s a little older tho I will let her but just for fun and only some lipgloss and blush. I agree with Jaan and Kell too. little girls r pretty as they r. They dont need makeup whne going to any kind of an event. They arent there to look pretyy for anyone. Plus in the world we live in now, there r so many creeps out there. Makeup makes litle girls look older therefore they draw attention to themselves and i think thats unnecessary. Anyways, there r many cool recipes out there that u can make and put them in cute little containers so that they have fun with them. For example pure beet powder can be used as blush. Shoot I even use it and it works like a charm. There is another recipe where u get a little peice of beet and blend it with some honey (and I don’t remember what else) and apply it as blush but in a creamy form. Have fun and make some stuff with your kids. Google different makeup recipes. You’d be surprised at how easy they r to make. Please don’t let your daughters put in cheap makeup. There are many known carcinogens in them and harmful chemicals that u don’t need your child exposed to. Google it for more info.
I think we need to look first at the message we, as moms, are sending to our daughters. I’ve heard so many times from moms that they can’t leave the house without their hair and makeup perfect. Some won’t even answer the door for the UPS man. This sends the message that we aren’t whole and complete without our makeup. A mom with a healthy self image will find it much easier to raise a daughter who is comfortable in her own skin. Children learn more from our actions than what we say.
Play make-up? Sure why not. Although personally I don’t really want to deal with the clean up. If we have a special occasion my 7 year old has some sparkly lip gloss (and of course nail polish!) we allow her to wear, but that is all. That said, she is required to wear make-up (blush and lipstick only at this age) for her ballet performances and this isn’t really an issue of enhancing beauty, but counter-acting the crazy lights that flush out one’s face on stage. I would think the same would follow for pageants and modeling. I think if we are open and honest with our girls don’t make it out to be some forbidden taboo topic, as it was for me growing up, the won’t be secretly putting it on at school and washing it off before they get home. And if you explain the reason for the use of it on stage, if you are in that situation, they won’t come away with a feeling of inadequacy or a need to cover up their face when they are not on stage.
My daughter is 5 (going on 15!) and is always asking to put on make-up. She has “play make-up” designed for children bought by an aunt (which I wouldn’t have bought for her) and this she is only allowed to wear when she is playing dress-up in the house – it has to come off before she steps out of the front door. In my view she is far too young to be wearing any make-up at all but all her friends wear lip gloss and nail varnish so peer pressure (even at her age)definitely plays a part. They are all also aware of “personalities” and popstars and their looks and already want to emulate them. It really is quite frightening how quickly girls, in particular, grow up whatever you as a parent try to do to slow down the process.
My niece is 3 and pretending to put on make up. Her mom and I were thoroughly intrigued that she was applying to her eyelids, around her lips and cheeks. When we asked where she learned, she said mommy. Well her mom does not wear make up so that is a mystery. She gave her daughter her old make up brushes to use for painting which the 3 yr old cleaned up and put in her play dress up bag. We agree with Shellie, to teach that one does not need make up to look beautiful. Makeup enhances beauty. Also I’ve been convicted to give more compliments regarding character over appearance. If girls are constantly being told cute outfit, pretty dress, nice hair, etc then that is what I feel that we are conditioning them for. Seeking attention for compliments. But complimenting instead on character and how they shared or helped or that they were kind, etc I feel will go a lot deeper.
Some of my fondest memories as a child was getting to play dress up with my momma’s make-up and pretty clothes. As a mother of a teenage girl I also allowed her to do the same and she will tell you (now 18)that is some of her fondest childhood moments as well. With that said I don’t think allowing a child to wear make-up all the time is a good idea. They need to learn to accept their natural beauty and then at 15 or 16 learn to enhance that beauty and not cover it up. As an adult(nNow 50+), I wear very little make-up and my daughter wears what is popular. I am hoping that with age she wear a little less make-up and let that true beauty shine.
I have always allowed play make-up and for very special events i put mine on she would get lip gloss and blush just like me. It was afun bonding. I have also acknowledge her many more worthy skills like art, grades, andplaying instruments her goal is 8 instruments by graduation. She is Now 14 and chooses not to wear make-up as its not necessary. Make up early did not seem to harm.
My 6 yo likes to pretend too. But I will never put anything on her for real. No need.
Funny story – I wasn’t using make-up for a while when she was little. One time I dressed up and had full make-up on. Oh! She was stunned and curious. One thing that made me laugh – she looked in my face and said – Mommy, I think your eyes are dirty, you need to go wash your face!
The Mr Kate Saggy Boob post, linked in a newer post in Bath and Body is a great follow up to this discussion on little girs’ self image. It shows the head job that society does on us as we go through life trying to maintain our self esteem while we attempt to fit in. It’s a must read.
Christi, No problem with that here. If there was a parcel on the other-side of my door and I was naked I would seriously have to think which was more important the parcel or my nudity scaring the UPS man 🙂
Donna, I have never had dump trucks in my house but my son still wants to play with them 🙂
My son does mimic my husband shaving from time to time so I guess every house, every child is different and that’s ok with me.
I am not able to reply to everyone but I think generally we are all on the same page which is nice.
I LOVE the comments about beauty being taught from the inside. No amount of makeup is going to make anyone feel beautiful if they don’t feel beautiful from within.
I think make-up makes little girls look like hookers or like they are ready to pose for child pornography. Why the rush? Let them be children and let them be natural. I don’t even wear make-up.
I don’t like it. They look beautiful already.